Matters of the Heart: Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? When Others Take The Lead in Planning Your Wedding

Your wedding day is a special time to celebrate your love and future. So often, we see third parties taking over this big moment with their input. When your future in-laws and over-opinionated friends try to take the lead, how do you pull back to achieve your dream day – not theirs?

Put Your Foot Down

This is one scenario, no matter how light-footed you may be, you have to be strong! Your wedding day is a once in a lifetime experience. You cannot let others dictate details and alter your dream. Learning how to firmly say “No,” when reacting to the overbearing suggestions of others can feel negative but is very important to your planning process. Explain what your ideas are and try to find common ground. If you don’t want to wear your mother’s wedding dress, state the kind of style you are looking for and why the experience of dress shopping is important to you. If you have a relative trying to take over some of the planning, sometimes it is best to simply say you have hired someone to handle those tasks, and their attendance is all you need from them.

Be Honest!

Take advice with a grain of salt – or maybe a scoopful. It is okay to allow others to interject their experience and ideas for your big day. In fact, it can be beneficial to see where aspects could be improved. However, you have to be honest when dealing with friends and family who are overstepping their boundaries. Let them know you respect their desire to help but you have a professional team to guide your journey. Open up possible outlets where their input will be welcomed and close off those you are already decided on. We see this so often with dress shopping, catering choices, even floral decisions! Don’t be afraid to say “thank you” for their opinion but let them know “I’ve made my decision already!”

Remember, all the back and forth of friends and family when planning your wedding day comes from a good place. As the bride and groom, your day is final. Be clear, honest, and stern when saying no,  but always make sure they know you appreciate their help – even when they overstep just a little!

Photo Credit: Jamilia Davis Norwood